Thursday, August 30, 2012


I still can't believe it Bens, you are 3 years old.

I can remember the day you were born, perfectly. It was and will always be one of the best days of my life.

For the longest time you were my little guy. My little benson boy. I watched as you turned 1 and then 2. You were growing up so fast yet in my eyes you were still my little boy.

And then, about two weeks ago, you turned 3. And I started to see my big boy Benson.

And then, just one week ago, a new little guy joined our family. Your baby brother.

And now, all of the sudden, you are huge. It seems you have aged years overnight. I still cant process my emotions about this. Part of me (a rather large part) is happy to see you as a big boy and as a big brother. And another part of me wants to cry...and cry. And then hop into a time machine and turn back the clock 2 years. (Luckily that is only a small part of me)

What a joy it has been to watch you this past week. Watch you become a big brother. Watch you become my big helper. And watch you become a big boy.

You are now, officially, my triple B, my BBB, my Big Boy Benson.

Here are a few current things about you Benson.

You love CARS. No, you are obsessed with CARS. The movies, the cars, anything that has Lightning Mcqueen on it (backpacks, lunchboxes, tee-shirts, watches, cups, books, etc...)

Anytime you go down the hallway, you have to start your engine, name the type of vehicle you are, and then race to wherever you are going.

Your favorite phrase is "Ka-Chow!"

Your dream right now is to go to Carsland and visit Radiator Springs and meet Lightning Mcqueen.
(we will be going in one month and we are all pretty excited about it).

You love books. We read at least 2 every night to you.

You are still wearing a diaper. And have told me on many occasions "i love my diapers"
(hoping to get this fixed as soon as possible)

You love having a new big boy room and big boy bed. Its decorated in bikes (another one of your favorite things)

You love being a big brother.

You hate it when your little brother cries.

Your favorite time of the day is 3pm when your dad gets home. You two turn into spies and secret agents and find all of the bad guys in our house. thank you for that.

Your best buds are Dax and Wyatt, you talk about them non-stop.

You have the cutest imagination and I love hearing the things you talk about.

You love cuddling on the couch with Mom and watching a movie (i usually have 10 other things i should be doing but i enjoy the cuddle from my big boy)

You have the sweetest personality, no one can help but love you.

Happy belated birthday my Big Boy Benson.

Monday, August 6, 2012

me and bens.

Probably one of the most used phrases over the past 3 years:

me and bens.

Bryce hears it everyday when he asks how our day went.

A response usually sounds something like this:

Me and bens went to the park.
Me and bens played with friends.
Me and bens stayed in pj's all day.
Me and bens watched CARS 2, twice.
Me and bens went to chick fil a.
Me and bens are sick.
Me and bens went to Target.
Me and bens slept in until 930am.

Ive had many sleepless nights this pregnancy. You know those nights where you lay awake thinking crazy thoughts. One of these most recent nights, i couldnt stop thinking about this phrase "me and bens." It made me sad. Brought me to tears..and then sobs. For the past three years its been just me and him. i have loved it. I realized that baby brother would soon be with us and it would no longer be just me and bens.

The next morning I decided that we would have a mom&me day. A special day for just the two of us. A day set aside to spoiling this kid rotten before baby brother comes. When I could hear that he was awake I went into his room to explain the day to him. I told him that I wanted to have a special day with him before baby brother came. Just me and him. I could tell he understood me. I then asked if he wanted to go to Chuck e Cheese, and thats when the excitement started. He talked about it while we had breakfast and then while we got dressed.

I printed off an award to bring with us. A best helper award that scored us 10 free tokens.

We arrived a few minutes after it opened and had the whole place to ourselves for about 20 minutes. We ran around non stop for those twenty minutes checking out all of the games. Benson had to check out each and every one and then make the decision if he wanted to put a token in. 

He eventually found the section with the little kid rides and thats where we spent the remainder of our time and tokens. I had to put my competitive ticket winning thoughts aside and let Bens enjoy these little rides. 

Our pizza soon arrived at our table. Mom got busy eating while Bens alternated between rides and pizza bites.

About 3 hours later..we left Chuck-e-Cheese with full bellies, happy hearts, and a few souvenirs valued at $25.

Benson was so proud of his winnings. The bracelet was large and went all the way up to his bicep but it was his favorite color and he wore it with pride.

"thank you for my orange bracelet mom"

Oh, I love this boy.

And thats why I had to take him to Toys r us afterwards. There was no way that that little orange bracelet was going to be the souvenir from this mom&me special day.

I told Benson that he could pick out one surprise.

We walked down every single isle at Toys r us. And looked at practically every toy in the store. This boy did not grab toys from the shelves, did not cry, did not beg, nothing. He knew exactly what kind of toy he wanted. We eventually reached the isle with the CARS toys. This kid got giddy. We spent about 30 minutes in that cars isle studying each toy. He eventually found a set of 10 CARS, none of which he had. And his decision was made and I bought him his souvenir from our special day.

"thank you for my cars mom."

How could I not spoil this boy? He is such a good boy..everyday. But especially this day, he was extra good. He could sense it was a special day for me and him. And it was. And though someday he might forget about it, I will not. 

There will always be a special place in my heart for this first little boy of mine, and the 3 years we had all to ourselves. 

If there is one thing I have learned, it's, I now know why my older brother is my moms favorite.